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Marshmallows: American Magic Sugar Balls

“If it weren’t for these fluffy fuckers, we’d be bankrupt within a week.” ~Cereal executives What do you get when you combine gelatin, sugar, water and corn syrup?  No, not diabetes.  Well… But no, the...

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Timmy Roosevelt Talks Cereal

“How come you only ask me to write things after you’ve had too much yell juice?” ~Timmy Roosevelt Every once and a while our “staff” gets a little “overwhelmed” and “hungover” to really give you, the...

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The American History of Breakfast Cereals

“I’m cuckoo for catchphrases!” ~American cereal executives America doesn’t like to eat food that came from the ground.  The only use we have for grains is if we want something to rest the cheese and...

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Cap’N Crunch’s Grossest Flavors of All Time

“Give me a break!” ~Um, That’s Not The Theme Song To Captain Crunch… When Captain Cap’n Crunch first hit the shelves in 1963, we didn’t worry ourselves with the fact that he’s not an actual Captain,...

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